Welcome! I hope you brought beer.

Or wine, tacos, cake, weed, vodka or Patrón. Pick your entry fee. This funny doormat lets guests know exactly what gets them through the door.

Coir comes in sizes from 16"x24" to 36"x72" and wants a roof over its head. The all-weather version (18"x30" or 30"x47") doesn't care about anything, much like you. Give it to the host who never turns down a delivery. We were making rude doormats in 2009, before the copycats caught on. Stuck on size? Tammy Sandwiches, our doormat matchmaker (a very good dog), will sort you out, or read How do I choose a doormat?