We Ain't Got Shit! Try Next Door Doormat

We Ain't Got Shit! Try Next Door Doormat

$59.95
Size:

Rude doormat: we ain't got shit, try next door

Who it's for: For the one who peeks through the blinds and whispers, "Don't answer it."

Doorbell rings. You already know how this goes — you crack the door, shrug, and let the mat do the talking before you have to say a word. We Ain't Got Shit! Try Next Door. No sugar. No jumper cables. No spare phone charger. Just a shrug in fiber form, doing the emotional labor of turning people away so you don't have to.

Available in eco coir or all-weather recycled rubber, in 8 sizes from 16" x 24" to 36" x 72". Coir works best on a covered porch out of sun and rain, and the non-slip rubber backing hoses clean. It's the housewarming gift that says "I already know you" better than a candle ever could.

Set it down, wait for the neighbors to notice, watch them laugh instead of knock.

Shop more fuck off doormats

Elaine C Shubert
Aug 24, 2026
★★★★★

Doormat was a gift, and very well made and love the saying on mat! Arrived early!!

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