Not back in 5 minutes. Just wait longer.

The sign people hang on a shop door, only more honest. This rude doormat tells visitors to settle in.

Pick natural coir, 16"x24" up to 36"x72", for a covered porch, or go all-weather (18"x30" or 30"x47") and hose it off anywhere. Give it to the homebody who doesn't answer the door and doesn't feel bad about it. This design is retiring. When it's gone, it's gone, so quit dithering. Size questions go to Tammy Sandwiches, our doormat matchmaker (a very good dog with zero patience for small talk), or How do I choose a doormat?