No trespassing. You have been warned.

Fair warning, delivered at ground level. This rude doormat tells uninvited guests exactly where they stand.

Natural coir from 16"x24" to 36"x72" for covered stoops. All-weather in 18"x30" or 30"x47" for porches that take a beating. Give it to the grump with a camera doorbell and strong opinions about solicitors. It's on the way out and it isn't coming back. Like your ex, but you'll miss this one. Stuck on size? Tammy Sandwiches, our doormat matchmaker (a very good dog), will sort you out, or read How do I choose a doormat?