No fuckboys allowed

FBoy Island rules apply here. This rude doormat stops players at the door before they waste anyone's time.

Coir comes in sizes from 16"x24" to 36"x72" and wants a roof over its head. The all-weather version (18"x30" or 30"x47") doesn't care about anything, much like you. Give it to the single friend who's done with dating apps and the girls' apartment that runs a tight ship. It's on the way out and it isn't coming back. Like your ex, but you'll miss this one. Stuck on size? Tammy Sandwiches, our doormat matchmaker (a very good dog), will sort you out, or read How do I choose a doormat?