Zero fucks given

We checked. There are none left. This rude doormat tells every guest exactly how much you care about their opinion of your lawn.

Get it in natural coir (16"x24" to 36"x72", keep it covered) or all-weather (18"x30" or 30"x47") that survives rain and your in-laws. Give it to the friend who stopped apologizing in 2019 and never looked back. Last Chance, for real: once these sell out, we're done making them. We were making rude doormats in 2009, before the copycats caught on. Ask Tammy Sandwiches, our doormat matchmaker. She's a very good dog and she won't judge you. Or read How do I choose a doormat?