Let the fuckery commence!

Party's on. This rude doormat sets the tone for the night before anyone takes their coat off.

Coir comes in sizes from 16"x24" to 36"x72" and wants a roof over its head. The all-weather version (18"x30" or 30"x47") doesn't care about anything, much like you. Give it to the party host, the chaos crew and the friend whose game nights go until 3 a.m. Ask Tammy Sandwiches, our doormat matchmaker. She's a very good dog and she won't judge you. Or read How do I choose a doormat?

Browse all fuck off doormats