Welcome to my shithole (cross-stitch)

Grandma's cross-stitch style, our language. This rude doormat is for messy houses, first apartments and hosts who refuse to clean before company comes.

Natural coir from 16"x24" to 36"x72" for covered stoops. All-weather in 18"x30" or 30"x47" for porches that take a beating. Give it to the roommate whose dishes have been soaking since Tuesday. Damn Good Doormats has been saying the quiet part out loud since 2009. Stuck on size? Tammy Sandwiches, our doormat matchmaker (a very good dog), will sort you out, or read How do I choose a doormat?