Fuck all y'all

Southern hospitality with the gloves off. This rude doormat greets everyone at once, so nobody feels left out.

Coir comes in sizes from 16"x24" to 36"x72" and wants a roof over its head. The all-weather version (18"x30" or 30"x47") doesn't care about anything, much like you. Give it to the Southern friend who says "bless your heart" and means every word of it. Size questions go to Tammy Sandwiches, our doormat matchmaker (a very good dog with zero patience for small talk), or How do I choose a doormat?