No soliciting. Seriously, f*ck off.

Censored, but only a little. This rude doormat tells salespeople exactly what you mean.

Coir comes in sizes from 16"x24" to 36"x72" and wants a roof over its head. The all-weather version (18"x30" or 30"x47") doesn't care about anything, much like you. Give it to the homeowner who hides from every knock. Stuck on size? Tammy Sandwiches, our doormat matchmaker (a very good dog), will sort you out, or read How do I choose a doormat?