Come back with a warrant doormat

Nice try, officer. Or neighbor. Or HOA president. This rude welcome mat states your Fourth Amendment rights before anyone knocks. It never gets old.

Natural coir from 16"x24" to 36"x72" for covered stoops. All-weather in 18"x30" or 30"x47" for porches that take a beating. It's a gift for the true crime podcast fan, the law student and anyone who reads the fine print. Damn Good Doormats has been saying the quiet part out loud since 2009. Size questions go to Tammy Sandwiches, our doormat matchmaker (a very good dog with zero patience for small talk), or How do I choose a doormat?