PLEASE fuck off

Manners matter. This all-weather rude doormat says please, then says the rest.

Check the size menu for materials and sizes. Measure your door first; the mat won't forgive you if you don't. Give it to the polite introvert who has hit their limit. Damn Good Doormats has been saying the quiet part out loud since 2009. Size questions go to Tammy Sandwiches, our doormat matchmaker (a very good dog with zero patience for small talk), or How do I choose a doormat?