Welcome. I'm not wearing pants. Yours are optional.

House rules, relaxed. This rude doormat lets guests know the dress code before they ring.

Coir comes in sizes from 16"x24" to 36"x72" and wants a roof over its head. The all-weather version (18"x30" or 30"x47") doesn't care about anything, much like you. Give it to the homebody, the remote worker who hasn't worn real pants since 2020 and the friend who answers the door in a robe. We were making rude doormats in 2009, before the copycats caught on. Size questions go to Tammy Sandwiches, our doormat matchmaker (a very good dog with zero patience for small talk), or How do I choose a doormat?