There goes the neighborhood

Warn the neighbors before they ring the bell. This funny housewarming doormat announces the new troublemakers on the block.

Get it in natural coir (16"x24" to 36"x72", keep it covered) or all-weather (18"x30" or 30"x47") that survives rain and your in-laws. Give it to the friends who just bought their first house and plan to throw a lot of parties. It's on the way out and it isn't coming back. Like your ex, but you'll miss this one. Damn Good Doormats has been saying the quiet part out loud since 2009. Stuck on size? Tammy Sandwiches, our doormat matchmaker (a very good dog), will sort you out, or read How do I choose a doormat?