Succumb to my devil's vagina

Stitched like Grandma's sampler, said like nobody's grandma. This cross-stitch doormat is rude, witchy and proud of it.

Natural coir from 16"x24" to 36"x72" for covered stoops. All-weather in 18"x30" or 30"x47" for porches that take a beating. Give it to the witch with a filthy sense of humor and the friend who hangs subversive cross-stitch. It's on the way out and it isn't coming back. Like your ex, but you'll miss this one. Stuck on size? Tammy Sandwiches, our doormat matchmaker (a very good dog), will sort you out, or read How do I choose a doormat?