Stay the hell out!, in Morse code

Only the nerds will know they've been told off. This rude Morse code doormat hides the insult in dots and dashes.

Get it in natural coir (16"x24" to 36"x72", keep it covered) or all-weather (18"x30" or 30"x47") that survives rain and your in-laws. Give it to the ham radio operator and the friend who loves a joke only half the room gets. It's on the way out and it isn't coming back. Like your ex, but you'll miss this one. Stuck on size? Tammy Sandwiches, our doormat matchmaker (a very good dog), will sort you out, or read How do I choose a doormat?