No loitering

Move along. This funny rude doormat gives a firm hint to the people who linger on your porch, stoop or shop doorway.

Pick natural coir, 16"x24" up to 36"x72", for a covered porch, or go all-weather (18"x30" or 30"x47") and hose it off anywhere. Give it to the shop owner, the city dweller or the friend whose stoop is a neighborhood hangout. We were making rude doormats in 2009, before the copycats caught on. Size questions go to Tammy Sandwiches, our doormat matchmaker (a very good dog with zero patience for small talk), or How do I choose a doormat?