I hate.

Two words and a period. This rude doormat says what misanthropes have been thinking all along.

Coir comes in sizes from 16"x24" to 36"x72" and wants a roof over its head. The all-weather version (18"x30" or 30"x47") doesn't care about anything, much like you. Give it to the grump, the introvert and anyone who has met people. It's on the way out and it isn't coming back. Like your ex, but you'll miss this one. We were making rude doormats in 2009, before the copycats caught on. Stuck on size? Tammy Sandwiches, our doormat matchmaker (a very good dog), will sort you out, or read How do I choose a doormat?