Even if I'm home, I don't want to see you

Yes, the car's in the driveway. No, you're not coming in. This rude doormat is for hermits who are home and plan to keep it that way.

Pick natural coir, 16"x24" up to 36"x72", for a covered porch, or go all-weather (18"x30" or 30"x47") and hose it off anywhere. Give it to the introvert who hides from the doorbell. This design is retiring. When it's gone, it's gone, so quit dithering. We were making rude doormats in 2009, before the copycats caught on. Size questions go to Tammy Sandwiches, our doormat matchmaker (a very good dog with zero patience for small talk), or How do I choose a doormat?