Come the fuck in or fuck the fuck off: Still Game doormat

Jack and Victor said it best, and the whole of Craiglang agreed. This Still Game doormat gives your guests two choices and zero small talk. Pick one. Quickly.

Check the size menu for materials and sizes. Measure your door first; the mat won't forgive you if you don't. It's the rude welcome mat for Scottish comedy fans and anyone who's ever stood in a doorway too long. Damn Good Doormats has been saying the quiet part out loud since 2009. Ask Tammy Sandwiches, our doormat matchmaker. She's a very good dog and she won't judge you. Or read How do I choose a doormat?