Merry Christmas, motherfuckers!

The elf has no filter. This rude Christmas doormat greets the whole family the honest way.

Get it in natural coir (16"x24" to 36"x72", keep it covered) or all-weather (18"x30" or 30"x47") that survives rain and your in-laws. Give it to the friend who spikes the eggnog and the family that swears through every holiday. Last Chance, for real: once these sell out, we're done making them. Damn Good Doormats has been saying the quiet part out loud since 2009. Ask Tammy Sandwiches, our doormat matchmaker. She's a very good dog and she won't judge you. Or read How do I choose a doormat?