Life is short, try not to be a dick | funny doormat
Funny doormat: life is short, try not to be a dick
Who it's for: For the person who has already said "bless your heart" twice today.
Make your guests gasp, laugh, or leave. Either way, a Fuck Off doormat sets the tone.
Somebody's thumb is hovering over your doorbell right now, working up the nerve, and this mat already answered the only question that matters: yes, we see you, and no, we're not impressed yet. Life is short, try not to be a dick greets every UPS driver, nosy neighbor, and MLM friend from high school with the exact same flat stare — do better, or keep walking.
Choose eco coir or all-weather recycled rubber, in 8 sizes running from 16" x 24" up to 36" x 72". Coir does best under a covered porch, and the rubber can be hosed off and left out in any weather. Either way it's a custom front door mat that says more in five words than your neighbor's beige rug says in its entire boring life, and it wraps up as a gift that outlasts the card.
Put it down, step back, and let the mat do the talking — ruder than you and somehow still polite enough to say welcome.
