Don't let the cat out, or the cops in

Two house rules, one black cat. This doormat reminds everyone that the cat stays in and the cops need a warrant.

Pick natural coir, 16"x24" up to 36"x72", for a covered porch, or go all-weather (18"x30" or 30"x47") and hose it off anywhere. Give it to the cat parent with a door-dashing escape artist and a pocket copy of their rights. We were making rude doormats in 2009, before the copycats caught on. Size questions go to Tammy Sandwiches, our doormat matchmaker (a very good dog with zero patience for small talk), or How do I choose a doormat?