Welcome to the shitshow

Kids, pets, chaos and zero apologies. This rude doormat tells guests what they're walking into.

Pick natural coir, 16"x24" up to 36"x72", for a covered porch, or go all-weather (18"x30" or 30"x47") and hose it off anywhere. Give it to the family of six and the roommates who haven't done dishes since March. It's on the way out and it isn't coming back. Like your ex, but you'll miss this one. Stuck on size? Tammy Sandwiches, our doormat matchmaker (a very good dog), will sort you out, or read How do I choose a doormat?