Shut the Fuck up, Donny. That line has been aimed at interrupters, and at one specific commander-in-cheif, for decades, and it works on a doorstep just as well as in a bowling alley. The mat spells it out in full. Anyone who knows will know before they knock, and everyone else gets a small unpleasant surprise.

Pick eco-friendly coir from coconut husks (keep it covered, out of sun and rain) or all-weather recycled rubber that takes a hose and lives anywhere. Coir comes in 8 sizes, and the phrase sits on two lines even at 18x30. It makes a good gift for the movie quoter in your life, who will not shut up about it.

Donny, the doormat is talking to you. Need help choosing? Let Tammy Sandwiches, our Doormat Guide Dog, fetch your mats, or read How Do I Choose a Doormat?

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