RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. That's the whole greeting now — no "hi," no small talk, just four words in bold telling your guest exactly how tonight's going before they even ring the bell. Half of them will laugh. The other half will remember every night spent watching some poor captain get cornered by a cube, and they'll salute before they cross the threshold. Either way, nobody in this collective leaves without wiping their feet.
Get it in eco coir — 8 sizes, from a cramped apartment landing to a double-door entrance that needs the full fleet — because coir's happiest covered, out of direct sun and rain. Want your unwelcome mat left out in the elements like the drone army it is? Grab the all-weather fabric front mat with a recycled rubber non-slip backing version instead: hose it down, forget about it, repeat. Either way it's a genuinely fun door mat that also makes a hell of a gift for the Trekkie who already owns three communicator badges and needs one more thing to be smug about.
We didn't invent the Borg. We did invent the sarcastic doormat industry back in 2009, so consider this our small contribution to universal domination. Not sure which size fits your particular collective? Ask Perogi, our very good pug of a chatbot, or read How Do I Choose a Doormat? before your entryway gets absorbed too.
