Prolly downy ocean, hon

Baltimore translated: probably down at the ocean, honey. This Maryland doormat tells guests you've headed to Ocean City, and they should've called first.

Coir comes in sizes from 16"x24" to 36"x72" and wants a roof over its head. The all-weather version (18"x30" or 30"x47") doesn't care about anything, much like you. Give it to the Baltimore native, the O.C. regular or anyone who puts Old Bay on everything. Ask Tammy Sandwiches, our doormat matchmaker. She's a very good dog and she won't judge you. Or read How do I choose a doormat?