Not unwelcome

You're not unwelcome. That's the best we can do. This funny doormat is for lukewarm hosts and introverts who are technically fine with you being here.

Get it in natural coir (16"x24" to 36"x72", keep it covered) or all-weather (18"x30" or 30"x47") that survives rain and your in-laws. Give it to the friend who loves you but needs 48 hours notice. Damn Good Doormats has been saying the quiet part out loud since 2009. Stuck on size? Tammy Sandwiches, our doormat matchmaker (a very good dog), will sort you out, or read How do I choose a doormat?