No coffee, no entry™

The door opens after caffeine and not one minute before. This rude doormat protects the household until the pot is brewed.

Get it in natural coir (16"x24" to 36"x72", keep it covered) or all-weather (18"x30" or 30"x47") that survives rain and your in-laws. Give it to the coffee snob, the barista and anyone who shouldn't be spoken to before 9 a.m. It's on the way out and it isn't coming back. Like your ex, but you'll miss this one. Damn Good Doormats has been saying the quiet part out loud since 2009. Stuck on size? Tammy Sandwiches, our doormat matchmaker (a very good dog), will sort you out, or read How do I choose a doormat?