The family secret, on the front step. This rude doormat is for households held together by happy hour and a few well-kept stories.

Coir comes in sizes from 16"x24" to 36"x72" and wants a roof over its head. The all-weather version (18"x30" or 30"x47") doesn't care about anything, much like you. Give it to the friend with the fully stocked bar cart and the best gossip. Ask Tammy Sandwiches, our doormat matchmaker. She's a very good dog and she won't judge you. Or read How do I choose a doormat?