Go away, or I will taunt you a second time

The French guard from Monty Python and the Holy Grail has your back. This nerdy doormat defends the castle with insults.

Check the size menu for the materials and sizes this design comes in. Give it to the Python fan who still makes coconut noises. We've been making doormats with personality since 2009. Not sure about size? Ask Tammy Sandwiches, our doormat matchmaker (a very good dog), or read How do I choose a doormat?