DON'T

One word, said the way David Rose would say it. This rude doormat is for anyone who wants to stop the conversation before the knock.

Pick natural coir, 16"x24" up to 36"x72", for a covered porch, or go all-weather (18"x30" or 30"x47") and hose it off anywhere. Give it to the Schitt's Creek fan and the parent of a very curious toddler. This design is retiring. When it's gone, it's gone, so quit dithering. Size questions go to Tammy Sandwiches, our doormat matchmaker (a very good dog with zero patience for small talk), or How do I choose a doormat?