The sign at Camp Crystal Lake still says WELCOME, which is either wildly optimistic or the setup to a joke you already know the punchline to. This one's basically an unwelcome mat wearing a camp counselor's name tag — for horror nerds who know exactly why the turnover rate up at that lake has never recovered, and want their own front porch to say so before anyone even knocks.

It comes in eco coir — 8 sizes, apartment door to wraparound porch — for anyone keeping their entrance covered and out of direct sun and rain. Want your camp counselor problem left out in the actual weather? Get it in all-weather fabric front mat with a recycled rubber non-slip backing instead: hose it off, no roof required. Either way it's a stupidly good gift for the horror nerd who already owns the machete costume and just needs somewhere to set it down.

Camp's still open. Roll call's still short a few people. Get the damn mat. Not sure which style fits your vibe? Let Tammy sniff out your match, or check How Do I Choose a Doormat? Once it's on your porch, here's how to care for your doormat.

See more spooky door mats. Still dark in March? Our goth mats never take the skull down.