DEAD INSIDE, Ouija style

Spelled out letter by letter on the spirit board: DEAD INSIDE. This Ouija Halloween doormat is honest about the mood in here.

Coir comes in sizes from 16"x24" to 36"x72" and wants a roof over its head. The all-weather version (18"x30" or 30"x47") doesn't care about anything, much like you. Give it to the burnt-out friend, the goth roommate and anyone whose spooky season never really ends. We were making rude doormats in 2009, before the copycats caught on. Ask Tammy Sandwiches, our doormat matchmaker. She's a very good dog and she won't judge you. Or read How do I choose a doormat?