Skip to main content
  • Free U.S. shipping + 10% off your first order when you join the list 🚪

Categories
  • BEST SELLING DOORMATS
  • NAUGHTY & RUDE DOORMATS
    • Fuck Off & Offensive Doormats
    • Sarcastic No-Swear Unwelcome Mats
    • Weed Wine & Food Doormats
    • Outdoor Rude Unwelcome Doormats
    • Vote Blue Democratic Doormats
  • NICE & FUNNY WELCOME DOORMATS
    • Bilingual & Language Doormats
    • Dog & Cat Pet Lover Doormats
    • Shoes Off Welcome Doormats
    • Boho, Mantra & Inspirational Mats
    • Unique Funny Welcome Mats
    • Pop Culture Quote Doormats
    • City & State Pride Doormats
    • LGBTQ & Queer Pride Doormats
    • Durable Outdoor Welcome Doormats
  • NERDY & GEEKY FANDOM DOORMATS
    • Tolkien Quote Mats
    • TV & Movie Quote Doormats
    • Geeky Unique Gift Doormats
    • Outdoor Nerdy Fandom Doormats
  • GIFT GUIDES
    • Unique Funny Housewarming Gifts
    • Custom Personalized Doormat Gifts
    • Funny Dog Mom & Cat Dad Gifts
    • Funny Unique Birthday Gift Ideas
    • Funny Unique Father's Day Gifts
    • Funny Unique Gifts for Coworkers
    • Funny Unique Gifts for Homebodies
    • Funny Unique Mother's Day Gifts
    • Funny White Elephant Gift Ideas
    • Rude Mugs & Funny Gifts Under $40
  • SEASONAL WELCOME MATS
    • Halloween & Gothic Doormats
    • Hanukkah & Judaica Doormats
    • Fall & Autumn Doormats
    • Spring & Floral Outdoor Doormats
    • Funny Christmas & Holiday Doormats
    • Ramadan & Eid Doormats
  • LAST CHANCE MATS | CULT CLASSIC & NICHE FANDOM
  • BROWSE ALL DOORMATS & WELCOME MATS
  • How to choose a doormat
  • About us
  • REVIEWS & FAN PHOTOS
  • Blog
  • Contact

Sarcastic No-Swear Unwelcome Mats

Our family-friendly un-welcome mats deliver maximum snark with zero swearing —

perfect for apartment buildings, shared entryways, or homes where small humans are present. You want something rude. You want to keep it PG. We get it. Because "Please Leave" hits different when it's on a doormat.  

prepare to be enchanted doormat
Prepare to be Enchanted doormat
$59.95
This house runs on chaos coffee and online shopping  funny sahm style doormat
This house runs on chaos coffee and online shopping doormat
$59.95
NO LOITERING funny, rude doormat
NO LOITERING doormat
$59.95
outdoor coir "No Soliciting/politics/religion/salesmen" go away doormat
No Soliciting, Fundraising, Politics, Salesmen, Religion Falwell
$59.95
Not Unwelcome ™ funny welcome doormat
Not Unwelcome ™ funny welcome doormat
$59.95
Adios Felicia all natural coir doormat
Adios Felicia Spanish doormat
$59.95
A clean house is the Devil's Playground all weather funny doormat
Devil's Playground | funny doormat
$59.95
Under new management, housewarming doormat
Under new management | Realtor gift
$59.95
go away funny rude doormat
Go Away unwelcome mat
$59.95

Pagination

  • First page « First
  • Previous page ‹ Previous
  • Page 1
  • Page 2
  • Page 3
  • Page 4
  • Page 5
  • Page 6
  • Current page 7
  • Page 8
  • Page 9
  • Next page Next ›
  • Last page Last »
  • Shipping & Returns
  • Privacy Policy
  • Log in
Copyright © 2026 Damn Good Doormats | Funny Rude Doormats. All rights reserved.
DGD Doormat Finder
🐾 Perogi will find your mat!
👑
Perogi the pug
Ask the Queen
PEROGI
KNOWS.
Your doormat matchmaker.
Powered by wrinkles & attitude.
Pug is in
Perogi is judging your entryway...
Damn Good Doormats