Sarcastic No-Swear Unwelcome Mats

Our family-friendly un-welcome mats deliver maximum snark with zero swearing —

perfect for apartment buildings, shared entryways, or homes where small humans are present. You want something rude. You want to keep it PG. We get it. Because "Please Leave" hits different when it's on a doormat.

LIVE LAUGH LOBOTOMY funny go away dolphin doormat

Live Laugh LOBOTOMY dolphin doormat

$49.95

KEYS Wallet CELL Phone doormat, world's most useful doormat

KEYS WALLET CELL PHONE The Essentials Reminder Doormat

$49.95

Please excuse the mess, our children are making memories.

$49.95

Please excuse the mess, our GRANDKIDS are making memories. funny grandparent

Please excuse the mess, our GRANDKIDS are making memories Grandparent doormat

$49.95

Home Sweat Home | Still Game gym doormat

$49.95

Just no. go away funny skinny damn good doormat

Just no. go away doormat

$49.95

Make America Great Britain Again funny doormat

Make America Great Britain Again Jubilee doormat

$49.95

welcome mat beware ginger, bearded guy cool, custom doormat, kids are shady

Beware of the GINGER, BEARDED guy is cool funny doormat

$49.95

You don't have to be crazy to live here, but it helps. funny doormat

$49.95

nope funny rude go away outdoor coir doormat

Nope. funny rude doormat

$49.95

Free U.S. shipping + 10% off your first order when you join the list 🚪

Sarcastic No-Swear Unwelcome Mats

Our family-friendly un-welcome mats deliver maximum snark with zero swearing —