Sarcastic No-Swear Unwelcome Mats

Our family-friendly un-welcome mats deliver maximum snark with zero swearing —

perfect for apartment buildings, shared entryways, or homes where small humans are present. You want something rude. You want to keep it PG. We get it. Because "Please Leave" hits different when it's on a doormat.

Don't let the Dog out, or the Cops in!

$59.95

Sustainable coir doormat with 'Knock Hard, Not Like The Police' printed welcome mat design

Nock hard (but not like you the Police) doormat

$59.95

promotional image of a coir doormat reading "Allergic to visitors and pollen" in with a red and yellow 70's hippy flower pattern with graphic stripes all across

Spring Allergic to Visitors and Pollen doormat

$69.95

Coir doormat with Husband Is Cool Beware of Wife Kids and Pets text, funny welcome mat for front door

Husband Is Cool (Beware of Wife, Kids and Pets) Doormat

5 reviews

$59.95

don't let the cats out or the FACISTS in funny doormat with silhouette of a black cat stretching out on it from Damn Good Doormats

Don't let the Cat out, or the FACISTS in! Black Cat

$59.95

don't let the dog out or the FACISTS in funny doormat with silhouette of 2 dogs running on it from Damn Good Doormats

Don't let the DOG out, or the FACISTS in! Running dogs

$59.95

Turn around, Do not come in, There is nothing here for you

$59.95

Sustainable coir doormat printed with Come Again When You Can't Stay So Long welcome mat design

Come Again When You Can't Stay So Long Doormat

$59.95

Thank you for leaving. Curb your Enthusiasm Funny doormat

Thank you for leaving. Funny go away doormat

$59.95

a pug and terrier dogs and a person in green creepers standing on a door mat with the word "GO AWAY" written on it in a spray paint graffitti style.

Go Away Graffitti un-welcome mat

$59.95

cute dog peeking over a doormat reading "This house is neurospicy" with red chili peppers on it

This House is Neurospicy | funny neurodivergent house doormat

$59.95

cute terrier dog peeking over a Funny Feisty and Neurospicy doormat

Funny, Feisty & Neurospicy | Neurodivergent Doormat

$59.95

Free U.S. shipping + 10% off your first order when you join the list 🚪

🎃 Halloween mats that don't look stupid in November , shipping now →

Sarcastic No-Swear Unwelcome Mats

Our family-friendly un-welcome mats deliver maximum snark with zero swearing —

Free U.S. shipping + 10% off your first order when you join the list 🚪

🎃 Halloween mats that don't look stupid in November, shipping now →

Sarcastic No-Swear Unwelcome Mats

Our family-friendly un-welcome mats deliver maximum snark with zero swearing —

🎃 Halloween mats that don't look stupid in November , shipping now →