Sarcastic Inappropriate Door Mats

Our family-friendly un-welcome mats deliver maximum snark -

perfect for apartment buildings, shared entryways, or homes where small humans are present. You want something rude. You want to keep it PG. We get it. Because "Please Leave" hits different when it's on a doormat.

WAXED VAXXED RELAXED covid 19 vaccination safety doormat

WAXED VAXXED RELAXED doormat

$59.95

Welcome to the Zoo funny doormat

$59.95

There is no reason for you to be here, funny, go away doormat

$59.95

We don't want any more visitors, well-wishers, or distant relations doormat with a french bulldog looking up and cute black and white striped rainboots

We don't want any more visitors, well-wishers, or distant relations | funny rude doormat

$59.95

Party's in the back™ funny MULLET doormat

Party's In The Back MULLET Doormat

$59.95

outside coir door mat reading "NO SOLICITING, Seriously Fuck Off." with a black pug puppy looking up and a woman's feet in smurf blue boots

CENSORED / NO SOLICITING, Seriously F*ck Off | funny, rude doormat

$59.95

Knock or RIng for Free Ass Kicking doormat

$59.95

Welcome to Pound Town

$59.95

leave it on the doorstep and get the hell outta here! rude funny novelty doormat

leave it on the doorstep and get the hell outta here Home Alone doormat

$59.95

KEYS BRA DIGNITY

$59.95

a Halloween welcome mat with a pug in golden dragon wings costume, the word "DEAD INSIDE" on it. The mat has a Ouija board design and the numbers "1234656789 GOODBYE" printed on it. The scene includes a person's feet wearing black pointy toed witch boots, an orange pupkin, and the text "DAMN GOOD DOORMATS EST. 2009" is visible.

DEAD INSIDE Ouija Halloween Doormat

$59.95 – $69.95

a welcome mat with a french bulldog and a fawn pug in bright hoodies, the word "UN-WELCOME" on it. The mat has a Ouija board design and the numbers "1234656789" printed on it. The scene includes a person's feet wearing white shoes, a vintage Halloween skull and cat light, and the text "DAMN GOOD DOORMATS EST. 2009" is visible.

UN-WELCOME Ouija Halloween Doormat

$49.95 – $59.95

a french bulldog sitting on a welcome mat with the word "UNWELCOME" written on it in bones lettering

UN-Welcome Red Halloween Doormat

$59.95

a Halloween welcome mat with a french bulldog, the word "GO AWAY" on it. The mat has a Ouija board design and the numbers "1234656789" printed on it. The scene includes a person's feet wearing Smurf blue boots and the text "DAMN GOOD DOORMATS EST. 2009" is visible.

GO AWAY Ouija Halloween Doormat

$59.95 – $69.95

Sarcastic door mats for people who'd rather be funny than polite, with no actual swearing required. These inappropriate doormats run on side-eye: passive-aggressive house rules and fake warnings that land harder than a curse word would. They're the safe pick when the HOA or your grandmother is watching. Every design is original, written by an independent Baltimore shop that's been doing this since 2009. Coir or all-weather fabric, eight sizes, free US shipping.