The Doors of Durin didn't open for swords or spells — just the word 'friend.' Yours won't be that picky.

Set this at your front door and every visitor gets the same deal Gandalf got after he stood there like an idiot for twenty minutes: say something halfway pleasant, wipe your damn feet, you're in. The trees flanking the door are lifted straight off the real Moria gate — carved by elves, guarded by a kraken, appreciated by absolutely nobody who doesn't already know what 'mellon' means. Now they guard your porch instead.

Comes in eco coir — 8 sizes, from a doorstep welcome to something worthy of a whole hobbit-hole — for covered entryways out of direct sun and rain, or all-weather recycled rubber if your porch takes a beating and needs to be hosed off like Aragorn after a Warg fight. Buying it for the Tolkien reader in your life? This is the gift that says I see you without you having to explain who Durin was.

Put it out front, wait for the first Tolkien nerd to gasp on your porch, and don't explain the joke if they don't get it. Not sure which size or material's right for your door? Perogi, our chatbot pug (wise beyond his kibble), can help — or check out How Do I Choose a Doormat?