Go away. I bite.

Fair warning, printed right where they stand. This rude doormat tells visitors exactly what happens if they knock.

Natural coir from 16"x24" to 36"x72" for covered stoops. All-weather in 18"x30" or 30"x47" for porches that take a beating. Give it to the introvert, the grump and anyone whose dog is the friendliest one in the house. It's on the way out and it isn't coming back. Like your ex, but you'll miss this one. Damn Good Doormats has been saying the quiet part out loud since 2009. Stuck on size? Tammy Sandwiches, our doormat matchmaker (a very good dog), will sort you out, or read How do I choose a doormat?