No Soliciting Doormat That Says the Quiet Part Out Loud
There's a knock. It's the guy with the clipboard and the aggressively upbeat energy, here to talk to you about your electric bill, your soul, or a subscription to something. You look down. So does he. Your NO SOLICITING doormat has already handled the intro — and underneath, in letters he cannot un-read, it adds Seriously Fuck Off. You never said a word. The mat is fluent in the thing you're too polite to say out loud.
Now pick your poison. Natural eco coir comes in 8 sizes, from a tiny 12"x26" up to a colossal 36"x72", and it's happiest on a covered porch, out of the sun & rain. Rather hose it off and forget about it? Go all-weather recycled rubber — it takes anywhere, any season, any weather you throw at it. Either way it's the housewarming gift that earns a real cackle instead of a polite "oh… thanks," which makes it roughly the most regift-proof present at the party.
Grab yours and let your front door do the talking. Not sure which size or material fits your entry? Ask Perogi, our chatbot assistant and a very good pug, or read How Do I Choose a Doormat? Fair warning while you're deciding: we invented the rude doormat back in 2009. Everybody else selling one now is just wiping their feet on our welcome mat.
