Hippies use side door doormat

Peace, love and the side entrance, please. This sarcastic doormat keeps the patchouli crowd moving around back. Bring your own hacky sack.

Coir comes in sizes from 16"x24" to 36"x72" and wants a roof over its head. The all-weather version (18"x30" or 30"x47") doesn't care about anything, much like you. It's a funny gift for the ex-hippie, the Grateful Dead fan and the friend who still owns a VW bus. We were making rude doormats in 2009, before the copycats caught on. Size questions go to Tammy Sandwiches, our doormat matchmaker (a very good dog with zero patience for small talk), or How do I choose a doormat?