The Fuck Off Doormat — a Warm Welcome for Absolutely No One
Some doormats say Welcome. Some say Home Sweet Home. This one skips the small talk entirely and says Fuck Off — right at the front door, in letters big enough to read from the sidewalk. It's a two-word personality test: your people will cackle & take a photo for the group chat, and everyone else was never getting past the porch anyway. We've been making this offensive doormat since 2009, back when we invented the whole rude doormat industry (the copycats wandered in later, bless their hearts).
Pick your weapon. Natural eco coir comes in 8 sizes — apartment door up to a full French-door spread — and it's happiest under cover, out of the sun & rain. Or go all-weather recycled rubber: the hose-it-off version that shrugs at open porches, patios, and whatever the sky is doing this week. And yes, it's a gift. It's THE gift — housewarmings, grumpy dads, the friend who answers the door in a bathrobe holding coffee like a shield.
Because 'Welcome' is a promise, and we both know you're not making it. Stuck between coir and rubber? Perogi, our chatbot assistant (a very good pug), will talk you through it — or read How Do I Choose a Doormat? and pick your poison.
Funny Doormat, high quality material, quick shipping!